Today is my birthday and for the past 9 years it has been a double-edged day because in 2012 I had a miscarriage on my birthday. I know what you’re thinking, didn’t she learn about contraception after her first baby.

Well, here’s the thing. I actually don’t know my baby daddy because he is a stranger to me. I don’t remember much about what happened or didn’t happen that night, but I recall about a month later I was pregnant. Even though I’d never slept with my then boyfriend, he was the most supportive person (may his soul rest in peace).

The first time, that wasn’t on me. It’s a situation I accepted and embraced. The second time, I knew better yet I didn’t do better. I didn’t talk about the miscarriage because I didn’t want to be judged for being irresponsible and honestly, I felt embarrassed. I knew better but didn’t do better. How many times do we judge and sentence ourselves to a life in a prison we create?

Whether or not I know your story first hand, I don’t judge because I have lived through being judged for situations that people concluded based on assumptions. I also don’t judge because I know you’ve judged and sentenced yourself to some kind of prison.

This Women’s Month, I #ChooseToChallenge you to be kind yourself. I mean that in every way. Forgive yourself and heal, even if it takes years for you to get to your desired emotional and physical state, keep fighting. We all have at some point known better but chose to do otherwise.

Good, bad or ugly, own your experiences! Rise above it all and live within yourself. Allow yourself to celebrate, mourn, and feel exactly how you feel in the moment knowing that tomorrow could be a better day.

Happy Birthday to me and Happy Women’s Month to you.